It’s been an emotional few weeks for me, for a number of reasons, although I’d like to think that some of it can be blamed on pregnancy hormones. But being emotional isn’t always a negative thing. In fact, we have a lot to be joyful and thankful about. We are now 20 weeks pregnant and had a very positive, exciting ultrasound last week. The baby was moving and kicking a lot – already quite the capoeirista, although I have yet to feel intense movements. He/she is healthy and growing well, and I can’t ask for anything more.

We went back to LA over the July 4th weekend for a friend’s wedding, and had an enjoyable time with family and friends. All of the Ip “kids” were back in the house at the same time, although everyone was in and out so much that we actually didn’t have a moment all together. We caught up with old friends and – the highlight of my weekend – celebrated the world of Harry Potter in anticipation of the upcoming movie.

We landed in Seattle the night of July 4th, just in time to catch the fireworks being set off by our neighbors two houses down. One thing I’ve learned about people in Seattle – they’re not into the skimpy fireworks that fly 10 feet into the air. They’re all about the big ones that explode high above and then rain down. I doubt they’re legal, but they’re beautiful to watch, although a bit scary when they’re so close to our house.

The weather was perfect that night – cool, but not cold enough that I needed a shirt with sleeves. Our neighbors were laughing, listening to music, and setting off fireworks. As I watched the fireworks burst overhead, I was overwhelmed with how happy and content I felt, and just how perfect the night was. A minute later, though, I felt very sad and alone. I was hit with the thought that I should’ve been holding a newborn baby. For awhile, I’d been dreading July 4th. It was the due date of the baby we lost in December. Every time I’d heard the date, I didn’t think about the holiday, the fireworks, or getting a day off. I thought about the baby.

Being pregnant and having a great pregnancy so far definitely made July 4th much more bearable. In fact, I didn’t feel much sadness that day until that evening. I’d been more moody about the date in the two weeks leading up to it. But being pregnant also doesn’t mean I’ve forgotten the other pregnancies or wish I hadn’t lost those babies. If anything, being pregnant makes me wonder about them even more. What would those babies have been like?

I allowed myself to cry for a few minutes, but then remembered all that I had to be thankful for. And then I wiped my eyes and went inside to continue unpacking.

On a very different note, we’ll be lining up for the midnight screening of the second installment of “Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows” tomorrow night. It’s the final movie of the entire series, and it’s a bittersweet day. I know the movie will be amazing. There are some really powerful scenes that will hopefully translate well on the big screen. Today, I read an article in which the writer referenced a scene where Harry is surrounded by deceased loved ones as he prepares to face Voldemort. Even just reading the brief dialogue between Harry and his mom made me cry. Imagine how I’ll be tomorrow when I see it on screen. Eek.

In addition to reacting to all the emotional scenes, I’m well aware that once the movie is over, it means everything is over. No more books and no more movies. Last year when we finished watching HP 7.1, I was already sad – and there was still one more movie to look forward to. Not only has the HP series been a fun destination for my imagination, it’s also helped me to create strong bonds among friends and has been a great source of escape when I needed it most. Thank you, J.K.R.!