Every time I go back to Sacramento, there are a few people I always make a point to see. One of them is my cousin, Eden, and her family, who I’ve mentioned before in my blog. Eden’s mom, my Auntie Mimmy, is my mom’s youngest sister, and she’s probably the aunt that I’m closest to and keep in touch with the most. Catching up usually means going to In N Out with Auntie Mimmy, Andi (Eden’s sister), and Eden, and then getting Rite Aid ice cream. They know the drill now every time I call them to meet up.

Ever since Eden was born, I heard comments about how similar we were. When she was a baby, she looked a lot like how I looked at her age. As she got older, she grew to love green and could laugh about bathroom humor without getting grossed out. A friend of mine who used to teach the girls piano said that I must have been spending too much time with Eden, but let’s set the record straight - I did not encourage her to talk about farts and poop. (Really, Auntie Mimmy, it wasn’t me!) She’s artistic, a creative writer, and loves to read.

Even though we now live two states apart, I still enjoy our occasional chats over Googlechat, her e-mails sprinkled with bright green text, and my visits back to Sac. And now that Matt has a PS3, we can connect with her online to play games. (I got chewed out last Christmas by Eden and another cousin when Matt told them that I wouldn’t “let” him get a PS3.) It always amazes me how much maturity and depth comes out of her mouth. Sometimes it’s hard for me to remember that she’s 20 years younger than I am, because I don’t expect to have these conversations with a 10-year-old. But she’s also fun and spunky, like every kid should be.

Every so often, I’ll hear stories from my family about time that they spent with my cousins. I know that Eden could be feisty and outspoken, but I also know that she deeply cares for people she loves, and has a sentimental, sensitive side. I’ve received green apple gum, a green necklace, and green post-it notepads from both Andi and Eden in the past, because they thought of me and how much I liked green.

My mom told me about a day when she and Eden went to a children’s event at the plant nursery. Eden commented about how my mom must be sad that Na and I no longer lived at home. But if she ever wanted company, Eden said, my mom could call her. Also, my aunt recently shared that Eden went snorkeling with my uncle in Hawaii, even though she was nervous and didn’t really like it - but she knew that my uncle really wanted to go. It’s rare enough to find 20- and 30-somethings who think that much outside themselves, but to find a 11-year-old who is in tune like that is rare.

It makes me a little sad to know that I won’t get to be that much of a part of Eden’s (and all my other little cousins’) lives as they grow up. But I am thankful that we can keep in touch. She’s definitely a special girl, and I look forward to watching her continue to grow.

1. One goal you’re striving for…To find a new talent

2. Where do you see yourself in 10 years? I see myself graduating from UC Berkeley and maybe becoming an interior designer :)

3. When you have free time, what is your favorite thing to do and why? I love to draw or read a book I’m in the middle of.

4. What’s one of the strangest things that you and your friends have done? The strangest thing…was probably with my friends Justine and Francine at BigSpoonYogurt while I was outside the two collapsed in laughter on the bathroom hallway floor for no apparent reason.

5. You’re stranded on a desert island and you have two books, two music albums, and two movies with you. Which are they? Books: 1. Watership Down 2. Journal; Music albums: 1. Owl City-Ocean Eyes 2. Coldplay; Movies: 1. Lost Season 1 :) 2. Avatar

6. What is a trait that you’d like to have as an adult (it could be something you have now, or don’t have)? And what is a trait that you hope you DON’T have as an adult? I’d like to really have a brave trait, but not a monotonous trait.

7. One word you’d use to describe yourself: Nerdy

8. One word others would use to describe you: Sentimental

9. Do you like being the “little sister,” and why or why not? Yes, because my big sister can give me a heads-up for future schools and growing up.

10. Which parent are you most like, and why? I’m probably like my dad because we can read novels in under a week and dream of traveling the world.

11. Name a book or movie character that you most identify with and why? I’m probably most like Mariel from Mariel of Redwall. She’s feisty, loves adventure, and hates dresses.

12. What is one thing you always have to have with you and why? JESUS CHRIST!!! without him, I’d be dead.

13. If you could live anywhere else in the world, where would it be and why? I would love to live in Maine. I’ve heard that its open country and fields and exactly how I want the world to be!

14. The thought that usually pops into your head when you first wake up is…“Uughh…school…”

With Eden (right) and Andi in 2000 (?); Matching tank tops; Eden at IHOP in March 2008

Dorcas (or Dorc, as I’ve always called her) is definitely the friend I’ve known the longest. Growing up, Dorc, her brother, my sister, and I hung out all the time since our moms babysat for one another. I remember taking trips to the library, flashing morse code messages on the ceiling to each other with a flashlight during sleepovers, playing for hours with our Slinkies, building forts with sheets and sofa pillows, playing dim sum under my dining table, pretending to get “beamed up” under her hallway lights, assigning names to each other (like Jessica and Elizabeth, after the Sweet Valley Twins)…the list is endless.

We saw each other pretty much every day when we attended the same jr. high school, high school, through the first two years of college, and also grew up at the same church. Dorc and I didn’t hang out that much outside of school or church during our high school years, though. We hung out together with our fellow ‘95ers, but when I hung out on Friday nights after church or on weekends, it was with other friends. Yet the whole time, I still thought of Dorc as my best friend. When we started attending Cosumnes River College, we spent more time together - Monday night prayer meetings and then “study sessions” at Buckthorns with Kit, tutoring back at Valley, and then classes at CRC together (being called out as troublemakers in Dr. Jones’ History class, screaming our lungs out in the gospel choir).

It was quite a change when we transferred out of CRC and went our separate ways - Dorc to Michigan, and I to SF. But the bond was still there…and still remains. Our friendship now is pretty much like how it was back then. We are not phone talkers, and months may go by between our e-mails, but somehow, I still always feel like I’m closely connected with her. Whenever we hang out, it feels like no time has passed at all.

What I appreciate most about Dorc is that she is really mellow and easy to hang out with. I never get the sense that she’s judging me or thinking that I’m really weird (well, for the most part) when I share what’s on my mind. She’s laid-back, up for almost anything, and is someone that I could feel comfy with if we’re singing loudly in the car or just sitting side-by-side quietly. We’re very different from each other in many ways, but at the same time, we see eye to eye on a lot of issues. She’s always someone that I’ve had great respect for, who I trust as a leader and as a confidante - even if those traits aren’t always clear at first glance.

I’m sure my mind will think of a million other things to write about as soon as I hit “Publish,” so I’ll spare you all the ramblings and end here. I have much love for her, and I’m super psyched to introduce you all to my best friend, Dorc C….

1. One goal you’re striving for…Sleeping earlier. So far, I haven’t been successful at it…

2. If you had an abundance of energy and alertness, what would you spend your time doing? Playing softball or basketball, and reading through philosophy and theology books.

3. What motivates you to stay up late preparing for classes, get up super early to drive to school, and then stand in front of students who aren’t always respectful or attentive? I’m actually not really sure about that, haha… I think it’s just this unexplainable drive to do better and be better, and to walk out of a classroom feeling like I’ve succeeded. I’m a perfectionist, so it’s hard for me to be satisfied with what I do. I also usually think I’m doing something wrong, so I try to get ideas off of others as much as possible to see how can learn from others.

4. You’re stranded on an island and you have two books, two albums and two movies with you. Which ones would they be?

Books:
- The New Oxford Annotated Bible, New Revised Standard Version with Apocrypha
- either the Cambridge Dictionary of Philosophy or the Blackwell Companion to Philosophy

Albums
- All That You Can’t Leave Behind (U2)
- something by Steven Curtis Chapman (not sure which)

Movies
- The Matrix Trilogy
- Lord of the Rings Trilogy
(I know, I’m cheating now by actually naming 6…)

5. We’ve been best friends for as long as we can remember, although we’ve lived in different cities since 1997. Why do you think we’ve been able to make it work, especially since we rarely see each other or even talk on the phone? I think a lot of why we are bonded is because we’ve been together since the most formative years of our lives (zero to five years), and because we just continued with the consistent friendship for every year of our lives until we turned 18. So much of our friendship is based on what’s been long established consciously, subconsciously, and unconsciously. Then after we both went off to college, we spent a lot of time sending massively long emails to each other. In those ways we have a long-established understanding with each other - the kind that doesn’t need words.

I also think we just never saw anything as a big enough deal to fight about. We’re both introverts, so if something bothered us about the other, we just kept it in and never brought it up, or we never thought it was so important as to bring up and risk causing a rift in our relationship. Unlike people who keep things in until there’s so much pressure that they finally explode, I think we had a tendency to keep things in, but then we fart so much that none of the pressure really lasts long, hahaha… If we had anything serious, I think we just wouldn’t bring them up until years later. By then, we’ve already had a while to think about what happened, and whatever it was, it became a memory of a time long ago. Then we would just spent the time explaining to each other how we felt and thought back then. Since we were older and hopefully wiser, we had a much better mutual understanding. So those talks were more of a reflection time than a complaining-about-each-other time.

Why can we make it work? I’m not even sure myself. Maybe because we’re so familiar with each other now that we know that our relationship is much more than talking. It’s like people who can go for years without seeing their parents or siblings, but in the end, those people are still their family, and it’s always comforting to be with the familiarity of family. We don’t sweat the little stuff, but we know that we can (and have) call[ed] each other up, diving straight into the serious big stuff without the normal superficial introductions, like “how was your week?” “Oh, it was good…” We also hold similar worldviews, similiar political positions, similar fundamental beliefs, etc. Or it could be that we aren’t your average female. Maybe our relationship is more like guys’ relationships, where we can just do stuff together and we don’t need to talk in order to communicate.

6. If you could go back in time and visit yourself in a previous time, when would that be, and what would you tell yourself? I would go back to Calvin College and tell my young self some things about life. Calvin was some of the hardest and best years of my life. I wish I could give me advice on how I could have better handled the harder parts.

7. Going to school in Michigan was tough, and so was returning home to Sacramento afterward. What is the greatest lesson you learned about yourself through that experience? Probably that I’ll never live in my ideal world, and will just have to suck it up and deal with it. Michigan gives me internal peace but external isolation and other inconveniences (like bad Chinese food… and I mean, BAD Chinese food…). California gives me internal isolation but external peace & company. In Michigan, the challenge is that I am challenged. In California, the challenge is that I am not challenged.

8. Name a book or movie character that you most identify with and why? I watched the Disney version of Hunchback of Notre Dame one time and really identified with the hunchback. One of my favorite movies is also Castaway (Tom Hanks), where everything in his life is going wonderfully and as planned, but circumstances outside of his control cause him to lose everything, and he lives completely alone for 3 years. In both movies, the characters had to learn to deal with their own sufferings and insecurities, had to live with a broken heart, let go, and move on with the rest of their life, and then had to learn to take the happiness of others upon themselves joyfully with grace and peace, even as they themselves continued to suffer, and even as the happiness of others was a source of their suffering. For some reason those sorts of narratives move me the most. I think this and others are the ways in which God works through human history to heal and restore and give redemption, grace, and peace to people who are broken.

9. If you could change one aspect of your personality, what would it be? Probably to be less of an introvert. I took one of those Myers-Briggs tests and one time I took it, it said that I am 100% introverted. Another time I took it, it said I was something like 90% introverted. In any case, I’m REALLY introverted. That makes it hard for me to be social, and to get along and get to know other people better. It also makes it a little more difficult to be more personable when I teach.

10. What is one aspect of your personality that you absolutely would not want to change? Probably my easy-going-ness and my attempts to get along with anyone. I think I’m pretty easy-going and nice (or at least that’s what other people have told me). I don’t lose my temper often; though I do lose my temper sometimes. Afterwards I feel really bad about it. A downfall of this, though, is that it can be easy for people to walk over me.

11. One word you’d use to describe yourself: dry. (Dry humor, dry skin, dry personality)

12. One word that others would use to describe you: nice?

13. If you could channel the strength and spirit of any historical figure, who would it be and why? Maybe Dietrich Bonhoeffer. If not him, then Elie Wiesel. I thought about saying Soren Kierkegaard, but after thinking about it I really wouldn’t want to be him at all.  Kierkegaard was a brilliant writer who helped change the lives of many people; but I think he lived a tragic life.  So I think I would probably choose Dietrich Bonhoeffer, or Elie Wiesel (although, probably their lives might have been even more tragic than Kierkegaard’s).  Bonhoeffer because he had the strength and will to fight the injustices of his time. He also had a very strong sense of God’s calling in his life, which was a duty he did not take lightly.  Wiesel, because the depth of the beauty found in his writings about ugliness are really profound… I wish I could know how he understands suffering, especially in the way it relates to God, and in the way God relates to us.

14. The thought that usually pops in your head when you first wake up is… Usually, “UGH…”

(I couldn’t resist posting more than one photo. The first one was provided by Dorc, since it was the oldest picture she could find of us - along with her brother and Auntie Konder. The other pictures are of Dorc, Na, Sam, and me. Click on the thumbnail to see the full photo.)

Back in college, my dad introduced me to one of his co-workers because we shared a common interest in the work of Emily Dickinson. I don’t think we corresponded too much, but I still have postcards that she sent to me from her visit to Emily’s home. About a year ago, my mom introduced me (via e-mail) to one of her co-workers - a young woman who is involved in martial arts and shares other common interests with me. Thinking back on these connections shows me how many interesting people are out there - and how fortunate I am when I can connect with them. (And, no, I don’t need Facebook to be able to do this!)

The person I’m introducing today is a friendship that was forged out of a connection like the ones I mentioned above. Our friendship is sort of an unusual one because we’ve actually never met in person. We “met” via e-mail through my dad almost three years ago when my dad recruited her to try out my first attempt at homemade jam. (You can read her review here.) She and my dad used to work together, but both have since retired, although their lives continue to be full of activities. After Val’s initial review of my blackberry jam, she sent me a whole packet of great information about the art of preserving, although I have yet to try my hand at making jam again. This summer, I vow to try it again!

Since then, we have exchanged e-mails that ventured beyond the topic of simply making my own jam. She’s shared with me her adventures of entering (and winning!) contests, family stories, and other happenings in her life. She always seems to be doing something interesting, and has been an encouragement for me to continue pursuing things I’m interested in.

You can tell more about someone when you’ve hung out with them a lot, but even just through e-mails, I can tell that Val is warm, caring, deeply values and loves her family and friends, is talented, is passionate about life, and truly lives out what it means to “live deep and suck out the marrow of life.”

Here, in her own words, is Val…

1. One goal you’re striving for…to live each day to the fullest and without regrets.

2. If you could go back to school and study something different, what would you choose to study and why? I would pursue an advanced degree in food science and technology. I feel that it is essential that we do everything possible to ensure that we have a continuous food supply that is safe for fresh, processed, and preserved consumption.

3. If you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be and why? I would choose a place where the temperature is always in the 70s; has many cultural venues, such as theatre, museums, and historical sites; there is a diverse demographic population; has a wonderful variety of restaurants; and there is shopping for every purpose. I’m not sure where that place is or if it exists! So to pick someplace that I’ve been to that I enjoy very much, I’d choose San Francisco or New York, but not in the summer months.

4. You’re stranded on an island and you have two books, two albums and two movies with you. Which ones would they be? Books: The Audacity of Hope by Barack Obama and The Power: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment by Eckhart Tolle. Albums: It’s Time by Michael Buble and Sex and The City soundtrack. Movies: You’ve Got Mail and While You Were Sleeping.

5. How did you get interested in food preservation as a hobby? I think my very first memory of preserved foods was when I was about four years old and seeing for the first time award-winning preserved foods with ribbons on them. I remember seeing a display case filled “jewels in a jar.” I remember telling my dad that I wanted one of those ribbons. He replied that I would have to wait until I was much older and then make some jam and enter it for competition. My mom did some home canning when someone gave us a box of peaches or pears. In 1975, I begin competing in state fair baked and preserved food competitions. I’ve missed two competitions in all those years and might possibly be the longest competitor at Cal Expo. In 1989, I completed the Master Food Preserver program through UC Cooperative Extension and am the senior most active member of this volunteer organization for Sacramento County. We teach safe food preservation to the public through home and garden shows, church groups, 4-H, food festivals, and farmers’ markets.      

6. What is a lesson that you’ve learned from your many years of being a Master Food Preserver? I think the most important lesson about safe food preservation is that it is a very exacting science. Although preserving food is a relatively easy thing to do, it has the potential to be very dangerous or deadly when basic principles and guidelines are not followed. When good practices are in place, the options are endless for creating new and exciting flavor combinations. 

7. Name a book or movie character that you most identify with and why? I would say Kathleen Kelly, played by Meg Ryan, in the movie You’ve Got Mail. Kathleen owns a small independent bookstore. I love bookstores! I like Kathleen because she represents someone who lives an honest, simple, caring life. She loves her work and is not caught up in making big money. Her life seems complete…rich, for all the right reasons.       

8. If you could go back in time and visit yourself in a previous time, when would that be, and what would you tell yourself? I would go back to high school, apply for admission to a college back east, hopefully graduate, and then apply to grad school rather than get my degree in Sacramento.    

9. What is one important lesson that you’d like to pass onto your children/grandchildren? To be honest to yourself and others, to give of yourself freely through your actions and words, and to live each day as though it were the last.  

10. What is one thing that has surprised you about retirement? First, I should say that I’m extremely grateful…thankful to have arrived at this place in my life. This sense of gratitude is immeasurable…where saying that I’m grateful or thankful really is not enough. Before retiring my focus was to ensure that I would have enough money to live comfortably, nothing lavishly or over the top, just comfortably. Once I had the dollars and cents worked out and knew that I would be fine, I was surprised by my sense of uneasiness over knowing that I would now be responsible in a new way for creating a day for myself. No longer would I have a job to go to each day. I would be the boss of my new life. It took me about a year to come to terms with the reality of this change. Well before long, I got my head and inner voice totally ready for the big change. I am completely surprised by how fast the days and weeks pass by. One moment it’s Monday and suddenly it’s Thursday night! How did that happen? I highly recommend retirement to everyone! Life is good.

11. One word you’d use to describe yourself: dependable

12. One word that others would use to describe you: creative

13. If you could channel the strength and spirit of any historical figure, who would it be and why? I would say Julia Child. To me, she is an icon. She is credited for being one of the first to bring French cuisine to this country using practical techniques that would appeal to Americans. For many years she worked for the Office of Strategic Services handling highly classified communications. She is an example of hard work, dedication, and commitment. She raised the bar for women to reach beyond their perceived limitations at a time in history when women were generally not expected to be bread winners (no pun intended) or to have such fulfilling lives outside of the home.

14. The thought that usually pops in your head when you first wake up is, “What day of the week is this?” followed by, “I feel like I’m late for something!”

(Martin Yan and Val at the Martin Yan Culinary Arts Center in Shenzhen, China)

Update (Sept. 2): At a recent preserved food competition for the Californai State Fair, Val submitted 12 items, received 10 firsts and two seconds. Of the firsts, she had three perfect scores, four Best of Class, two Best of Division, and Best of Show for the Pickle, Relish, Sauce, and Salsa Show. Val also won a C&H Sugar award, which was 20 pounds of sugar! This was her 34th year competing at the State Fair. Congrats, Val!!

For the past few summers that we’ve lived in Seattle, summertime always meant sun and outdoor adventures. But most of all, it meant CAMPING! And when I think of camping in Seattle, I think of Carolyn and her husband Jonan. Only a few months after we moved here, we took our first camping trip along with the mutual friends who introduced us. We had so much fun that camping has been an annual tradition with Carolyn, Jonan, and our other two friends since then. Because of Carolyn, I now HAVE to have fruit and chocolate burritos warmed by the campfire every single time we go camping.

They not only are our “camping buddies.” When Matt and I think of our friends here who are extra special to us, Carolyn and Jonan are among them. They are friends we could laugh with, be completely candid with, share our challenges with, and be encouraged by. I’ve loved being able to watch their family grow from two to three, and it’s been such a joy to spend time with their adorable son Grayson.

Carolyn is someone who instantly put you at ease. When she talks to you, she really listens and you can really feel that she cares about what you are saying. She remembers things that I’ve said, and brings them up in future conversations. She’s humorous - in a relaxed, subtle way, honest, extremely considerate, generous, and well-grounded. You know that when she says something, it’s not for the sake of wanting to say something; she really means it, and is deliberate with her words.

In addition to being a loving and caring person, Carolyn is absolutely talented. She’s an amazing photographer, great graphic designer, talented pianist (surprise, surprise - an Asian who plays piano?!), and a bargain hunter (yes, that is a talent). Even her e-mails (and her interview responses below) are well-written, despite what her college TA said (see question #4). And if you try to talk up her talents, you’ll see that she’s extremely humble about them.

I’m excited to introduce Carolyn to you all. I hope you enjoy her comments as much as I did.

1. One goal you’re striving for…To be more honest with myself – to admit my faults.  When I recognize my faults, I can recognize where it has been hindering my relationships and help me understand why I react to certain things.  Also it would allow me to bring these faults before the Lord with the hope that He will give me freedom from it, because I would never want my faults to be passed down to my children.

2. If you could open a store, what would you sell? I would open a little boutique that sells letterpress stationary, cards, invitations, etc.  In the back room would be my letterpress printer and equipment to produce all the pretty prints.  Then I would eventually extend the store to also house a small cafe that accommodates to mothers.  There would be a play area for the children, menu that also serves kids, and a bathroom that definitely has a changing table.

3. What is one of your fail-proof (or nearly fail-proof) ways to get your creative juices flowing? Believe it or not, I go shopping at the mall.  Okay, more like window shopping (unless I find something for a REALLY good deal).  I like to look at the stores’ window fronts to see how things are displayed.  Also, see what seems to be the color palette for the current season’s fashion.  I even pay attention to the tiny details like, shopping bags, clothing labels/tags, the sale signs, store catalogs, etc.  And then I finish it off with a vanilla latte and an Auntie Anne’s pretzel.

4. If you could go back to school and study something different, what would you choose to study and why? Writing.  In high school I had this English teacher (junior and senior year) who frequently gave assignments where we had to write fiction stories.  From that I discovered my love in writing fiction.  However, during freshman year in college my English TA obliterated my assignment.  So I was completely devastated and never wrote again.  When I look back, I wish I didn’t let a measly TA affect me like that.  I would go back to learn the art of writing and hear other students’ ideas, but not let someone else’s opinion of my writing discourage me.  Like visual arts, there are different preferences to writing styles.

5. What characteristic of yourself do you see in Grayson? Since he’s 18 months old, I feel like his full character has yet to be seen.  One thing I do know for sure is that he loves to laugh and engage in humor just like me.

6. What is one main lesson you’ve learned from being a parent? I am not in control.  This is a heavy revelation for someone like me who is such a control freak.  It’s very humbling to come to grips with this truth. My tendency, like all parents, is to shield Grayson from pain (physical and emotional), people who want to do evil, and the faulty ideas of the world.  Basically, if I could put him in a bubble I would. I know I can’t constantly be there for him in each stage of his life.  I have been shown that truly God is in control and is omnipotent.  All I can do is rely on Him.

7. What is one main lesson that you’d like to pass on to Grayson? His purpose in life is to have a love relationship with God.  If he accepts that truth and hold it close to his heart, I know everything else will fall into place.

8. If you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be and why? I’m actually really content in Washington, so I’m a little uncertain with this question.  I guess I would like to live in Portland because it reminds me of Washington/Seattle. The culture seems laid back and I think the city would be a kid friendly place.  Also, you gotta love the fact that you don’t have to pay sales tax.

9. You’re stranded on an island and you have two books, two albums and two movies with you. Which ones would they be? Two books: Bible and Purpose Driven Life. (Being that I am stranded, I’ll need a lot of assurance.) Two albums: any two of Kohala’s albums.  (They’re an instrumental group from Hawaii.  It’s all island sounding music, so might as well listen to that while stuck on one.)  Two movies: Anne of Green Gables and Pride and Prejudice (BBC version).  (I love these two movies and they are pretty long, which will come in handy since there’s a lot of time on my hands.)

10. Name a book or movie character that you most identify with and why? Amelie Poulain from the French movie Le Fabuleux Destin d’Amélie Poulain.  Her shyness, simplicity, quirkiness, and imagination just remind me of myself.  Also, how she devotes herself to bring happiness to other people, but is unaware of her own desires and needs.  I think I have the tendency of doing that sometimes.

11. Name three “must-have” camping items. Not sure if all of these fall under the category of camping items, but the only time I use these are during camping: headlamp, thermal under pants/top, and corn beef hash.

12. People say couples become more like each other as time passes. What is one aspect of Jonan that you are seeing more and more in yourself? I feel like I’ve taken my role as wife and mother more seriously.  Not that I was never serious – I cherish my roles, but knowing Jonan takes to heart how he is as a husband and father to me and Grayson is inspiring.  I want to better myself so that I can love and care for them the way God wants me to.

13. If you could go back in time and visit yourself in a previous time, when would that be, and what would you tell yourself? I would visit myself in high school.  Like every teenager, I went through an awkward stage while trying to figure out where I belonged in life.  I would tell myself that life goes beyond high school.  Once you graduate, everyone pretty much starts all over again and is on the same level.  You pretty much get a second chance at establishing yourself, and most times people do mature and grow up.

14. The thought that usually pops in your head when you first wake up is…Just ten more minutes, please!

Despite knowing Makeba (or Keba, which she typically goes by) for only two years, Matt already refers to her as my second spouse. Keba and her husband Aaron moved to Seattle a month after Matt and I did, and Keba also worked at World Vision. We sat on the same floor, and I often looked right into her cube whenever I picked up papers from the printer. But since we worked in different departments, we never had any reason to interact, and never were introduced to one another.

In fall 2006, I attended a volunteer orientation at the Union Gospel Mission. A few minutes into the orientation, Keba walked in and sat next to me. “You’re the girl by the printer!” I said to her. After the meeting, we hung around and talked, immediately feeling like we saw eye-to-eye on many things. I remember going home after the meeting and telling Matt, “I met this girl named Makeba who works at World Vision, and she doesn’t want people to think she’s rich, either!”

After that, we were pretty inseparable at work. If I wasn’t in my cube, whoever was looking for me knew to look in Keba’s cube–and vice versa. Sadly, she left WV last summer to start grad school at the University of Washington. “Oh good,” my co-workers joked. “Now Mel will get more work done.” Even with her busy schedule at school, she makes it a point to schedule dates with me so that we could catch up in person every few weeks.

We’re quite different in a lot of ways. She’s outspoken, assertive, extroverted, talkative, and sharp. Sometimes I wonder how we became such close friends. But I think our similarities and our complementary personalities make it work. I can always rely on Keba to keep me posted about the latest workshop on social justice issues, meet up for boba, or sacrificially put herself at risk of being attacked by blackberry bushes in our backyard. More importantly, I know that I can always open up to her and that I’ll find an impartial listening ear.

There’s way more to Keba than what I can share in a few paragraphs, but, as a way to ring in the new year, I’ve posted the following questions, which will give you some insight on her. If you want more, check out her blog. (And even if you can’t become friends with me on Facebook, you can connect with Keba on there.)

1. One goal you’re striving for…To be healthy.  I really want to develop a regular fitness routine for life and eat better foods.  This involves being more organized so I can plan ahead for meals and make healthy things at home instead of eating out.

2. You’re stranded on an island and you have two books, two albums and two movies with you. Which ones would they be? Hmmm.  Books: A Bible and Bridge to Terabithia.  CDs: probably Indigo Girls “Retrospective” and an album by Sara Groves.  Movies: Good Will Hunting and Sister Act II

3. Name a book or movie character that you most identify with and why? I can think of lots, but honestly the first thing to pop in my mind was Ariel from the little mermaid.  I always felt like I understood her yearning to be free.

4. One word you’d use to describe yourself: Impulsive

5. One word others would use to describe you: Aaron says impassioned

6. Ideally, what would you do with your time once you finished your Masters and why? Oh, the million dollar question.  I’d like to work in a position where I : (1) interact with kids, (2) address systemic oppression, (3) influence changes in policy, and (4) don’t totally burn out.  I think maybe I’d like to work in an educational or group home setting.  I’d also like to have more time to spend with friends and neighbors.  I’d really like to get a dog, and maybe even have a kid.  And more plants.  And I’d like to cook more.

7. What’s the biggest difference between living on the West coast from living on the East coast? There are a lot of major differences.  The biggest thing I noticed when we first arrived is how many people ride bikes, compost, and recycle.  Also, one major difference between Seattle and most places I’ve been is that riding the bus is not an indicator of class or race.

8. What have you learned about yourself since moving to Seattle? I think I’ve learned that we (humans) keep growing and changing, even after we graduate from college and get married.  Aaron and I have both thought a lot about issues and formed new opinions on things that we didn’t think would ever change.  I’ve also learned that I shouldn’t be so vocal in my opinions, especially if they keep changing.

9. What scares you the most when you think about being a parent? I honestly don’t have many fears about being a parent.  I think about what it would be like to lose a child, and that is scary.  I also think about what I would do if my kid made really bad choices, or became an addict, or put themself in danger.  I think it is scary knowing how little control parents really have, especially after kids are older.

10. What do you look forward to the most about being a parent? Watching and facilitating my child’s learning.  I think it is so cool to see kids develop, form ideas, and then act on them.

11. You have a big heart to help those who have a great need. What moves you to do that? Um, self interest?  Just kidding, though to be honest I am sure this is some of my motivation.  I don’t really know.  I think I’ve always been a very sensitive person.  I feel other people’s pain in a weird way (I cry when I read the news a lot).  I’m not sure but I think some of that developed as a result of losing my dad and the process of greiving that loss as a kid.  I think most of my desire to help others comes from imagining what they are experiencing.  After I became a Christian in high school it also hit home that this is part of my purpose here on earth; to be the hands and feet of Jesus. It seemed clear that this was a command, not just an option.  Still, I have to check the motivation of my heart and make sure my actions are not out of legalism or guilt.

12. If you could channel the strength and spirit of any historical figure, who would it be and why?
Oooooh.  Good question Mel.  I have to pick one person?  I guess Mother Teresa.  The thing about Mother Teresa is that she never wanted to be recognized for her acts of love, but she always wanted to take the opportunity to teach others.  I’m sure there are others like her in the world who got less recognition but had the same humility and spirit of service and love. I think the one thing I’d like to “channel” is the ability to see all humans as made in the image of God, without inadvertanly judging that some are more or less “deserving” of my love.

13. If you could add any one aspect to your personality, what would it be? I’m not sure if this is a personality attribute, but I would really like to be more disciplined!

14. If you could go back in time to give yourself a piece of advice, when would it be, and what would you tell yourself? In high school and the beginning of college I was so wrapped up in my own little world of drama.  I wish I could tell myself that it just wasn’t that big of a deal, and that I shoud stop being so self absorbed!

15. The thought that usually pops in your head when you first wake up is…? Crap, am I late?

Using a very nonscientific, random method, my next interviewee happens to be my father. Hooray! He is someone I greatly admire and love for a number of reasons (and not just because he’s flown out to Seattle twice in the past two years to help us with the yard).

Growing up, I remember a strict, but humorous father who was hard-working and always sought to instill good values in us. He also always looked for opportunities to teach us new things. I recall sitting with him in Mervyn’s while my mom shopped, and my dad used the tiles on the floor to teach me about fractions. When I was in elementary school, he took a sculpting class and turned the garage into a mini studio. While he worked on his homework projects, I worked alongside him, creating my own child-like works of art. He taught me about firing, and about scoring clay to cement two pieces together. In high school, he edited my reports with a red pen and tried to explain math to a very frustrated teenager.

Some of my favorite memories of my dad…every morning as he walked out the door to catch the bus to work, he’d yell goodbye to me. I’d jump out of bed and run to the window facing the street and wave until I could no longer see him. In college, I was a student assistant for the State Dept. of Education–where my dad had been a graphic artist for 20+ years–and often visited his cube and rode home on the bus with him. More recently, he drove with me up to Seattle from California, following Matt and his mom in the U-Haul, and helped us settle into our apartment.

I feel incredibly fortunate to have the father that I have. I am very proud to be his daughter, and it is a great honor for me to give you all a glimpse of who he is.

1. One goal you’re striving for…live full, live well, and live long.

2. What is your favorite part of being retired? I feel so fortunate to have the option to retire at my age to do something that I love and different-working at the nursery, and the opportunity to give back to the community-volunteering at the museum and the school.

3. If you could open a store, what would you sell? If I don’t have a make a profit, I would open a store that offers plants, art, books, drinks, travel and outdoor stuff/information, and a space for people to share these interests or just come in and relax.

4. What is one of your most memorable experiences as a docent? The best part of being a docent is learning as I share, and sharing as I learn. The most rewarding part is when first-time visitors, adults or students, tell me that they have a great museum experience. The most confidence-boosting experience is when the museum docents told me that they found my Asian art collection presentation to be the best training they had received.

5. What is one main lesson you’ve learned from being a parent? To grow with you girls through stages of life.

6. What is one of the greatest challenges of being a parent? Know when to give advice, and when to hold back. All parents will agree with me that once a parent, always a parent, regardless of the ages of the children. So an unsolicited advice to all children, myself included: just smile and say OK when your parents give you advice.

7. Do you see yourself in your daughters, and if so, how? (And don’t just say your bad eyesight, loud farts, and stinky feet!) All the good qualities, just kidding. I see love for learning, passion for life, adventurous, mischievous, compassion, sensitive, artistic, endurance, sentimental, loyal, optimistic, self-reliance, sense of humor, not to take life and myself too serious, speak out on injustice, impatient, critical, multi-tasking…I let you and Na decide which traits to claim.

8. You’re stranded on an island and you have two books, two albums and two movies with you. Which ones would they be? Books: The Complete Works of Shakespeare–I was still learning English in my high school years, so I did not have the chance to truly appreciate Shakespeare’s genius. Second will be a blank book so I can write and draw my own book while on the island.

Movies: Seven Samurai–the classic Japanese movie that inspired the western Magnificent Seven. Second: A collection of Charlie Chaplain’s silent movies.

Albums:  Beethoven’s symphonies

9. Name a book or movie character that you most identify with and why? The shepherd boy in Paulo Coelho’s The Alchemist. It’s about following your dreams, and the whole universe will conspire together to help you to fulfill the dreams.

10. When you first moved here from Hong Kong, what was the greatest challenge that you experienced? Definitely learning English. I was 13 years old, a very tough age. When I realized the American-born Chinese kids were not going to help me as requested by the teachers, I decided to learn on my own by looking up every other words in the dictionary. This experience motivated me later in life to be involved in teaching English to new immigrants, and working with foreign students.

11. What was your first impression of America? My very first “America experience” was on the deck of the ship going under the Golden Gate Bridge at 5AM. Everybody on deck was silent. Being a sensitive kid at 13, I was moved to tears, and I can still remember the sense of excitement, and fear of the unknown. My first impression of Sacramento is “Hey, this is like a rural village compared to Hong Kong.”

12. Your favorite hike is…There is no one favorite hike: Favorite hike with mom: Steep Ravine on Mt. Tam–a piece of heaven just minutes from San Francisco.  Favorite hike in Yosemite: Half Dome.  Physical/cultural/spiritual combo favorite: Everest Base Camp trek.

13. If you could go back in time and visit yourself in a previous time, when would that be, and what would you tell yourself? Back to you girls’ teenage years and tell myself that they will turn out OK.

14. The thought that usually pops in your head when you first wake up is…What day of the week is today?

(Eating guinea pig in Peru, 2008)

When I thought about conducting these interviews, I knew I would have to start with someone extra special. From here on out, though, I’ll draw names to see who goes next. That way, the order is completely arbitrary–no playing favorites!

Matt and my friendship began over e-mail, and then over the phone, before we met up in person Memorial Day weekend of 2002. During our first few hours of hanging out, we watched the Kings beat the Lakers (HA!) and he helped me make quesadillas for lunch. I felt comfortable with him immediately, like I had known him all my life. We’ve been married for 3 1/2 years now, and I say with confidence that Matt knows me better than anyone else. He can tell what I’m thinking just by the look on my face (although if it’s because there’s a dessert place nearby, it’s a no-brainer).

Matt is one of the humblest and private people I know, which meant I had to plead, flutter my short eyelashes, and nag (as wives do!) to get him to answer questions about himself for all the world to see. I even threatened to ask him random questions when he wasn’t expecting, and then post the answers without his knowledge. I finally backed off, which was when he agreed to do it. But since Matt doesn’t like answering hypothetical questions or even talking about himself much, he kept his answers short and to the point. I had hoped for a little more dialogue in the questions, but I’ll take what I can get.

I hope you enjoy this rare, public appearance of my favorite man, Mr. Matt I.!

1. One goal you’re striving for right now is…
What other career I might enjoy, if any, and make steps towards that.

2. One word others would use to describe you: grounded
One word you would use to describe you: reliable

3. The top three websites you can’t live without…
google, that pretty much covers them all.

4. What do you do for a living, and what do you like most about it? Least?
Graphic designer. Enjoy the creativity and flexibility the job allows me. People I work with are great also. Don’t always enjoy being in front of a computer all day.

5. If you could create any sort of career for yourself, what would it be?
Race car driver

6. If you could open a store, what would you sell?
In-N-Out burgers in Seattle if they ever franchised!

7. What is one thing you’ve learned about yourself since being married?
How selfish I can be.

8. What is one thing you’ve learned about yourself since moving to Seattle?
I enjoy investing time and energy with youth, though I don’t do it enough. Was something I never would have done if we had not moved up here.
Why wouldn’t you have done it?
Because I would be too comfortable with my life in LA.

9. What is your dream car?
Too many nice cars to try and choose one but Jazz from the Transformers would be pretty cool to have or the original K.I.T.T. from Knight Rider!

10. Which parent are you most like and why?
Think I’m a mix of both. Pretty organized and clean, like my dad, but also easy going and laid back, like my mom.

11. You’re stranded on an island and you have 2 books, 2 albums and 2 movies with you. Which ones would they be?
Books: Bible and can’t think of another, guess I don’t read enough.
Albums: Arrested Development: 3 Years, 5 Months, and 2 Days in the life of…, Miles Davis: Kind of Blue
Movies: Any of the Indiana Jones movies, maybe Temple of Doom is my favorite and something funny like Dumb and Dumber or Something about Mary

12. If you could live anywhere in the world, where would you live and why?
Somewhere they speak English enough for me to get by, though I’ve always liked South America or Central America so maybe somewhere there…Costa Rica since I’ve been there and enjoyed it. Has hiking, biking, and nice weather, though it rains a lot there. But I’m used to that now, and hablo Espanol un poco.

13. Name a book or movie character that you most identify with and why?
Ray from Everybody loves Raymond because I’m not a smooth talker and can say things that will often get me in trouble with the wife.

14. The thought that usually pops in your head when you first wake up is…
Gotta pee