The capacity of our apartment has fluctuated between two and seven over the past two weeks as we had the Ips over (one or two siblings per night, culminating with all seven one night), back down to three over the weekend during Dorc’s visit. She leaves tomorrow, and we’ll be back to just the two of us until Melanie visits in two weeks.

The visits have been a lot of fun, especially taking people to places they’ve never been before. It’s fun trying to modify the trip to suit the visitors’ needs, but in the case of the Ips’ visit, it’s harder to do so when there are five people to accommodate. But they mostly went around on their own as Matt and I worked during the day and then joined them at night for dinner. By then, they were all so beat after a full day of sightseeing that we all just went our separate ways after the meal. Matt and I had a chance to join them for a full weekend in Vancouver, though. We took a water taxi to Granville Island (it’s not really an island if the land is not surrounded by water on all sides, people!), marveled over the huge, sweet berries, browsed through shops, had late dinners, and enjoyed the hotel pool and Jacuzzi. When it comes to family vacations, going around to sightsee is fun. But when family vacations like these are rare, I actually enjoy just hanging out with people like having silly races in the pool. I also enjoyed taking Sarah to my breakdancing class and then going out for boba after that.

Dorc’s visit has been different since there is only one visitor and I sort of have a better feel for what she likes to do. We don’t try to do too much, but we sort of had an itinerary in mind before she got here. Saturday’s activities included dim sum, a visit to Uwajimaya, hiking/berry picking/shell collecting at Discovery Park, two unexpected hours at REI, sushi dinner, and then a movie at home. It was enough to tire us out a bit, but not too tiring where we missed out on an evening together. It was just the right amount of activity. On Sunday, we went to church, had lunch at the Seattle Center, and then spent a couple of hours at the Pacific Science Center, including a (semi)3-D showing of “Superman Returns.”

On Saturday evening, we watched “Weather Man,” which I thought was kind of slow and annoying (well, more like the characters were annoying), but I liked the message that it conveyed. One line (paraphrased) said something like “Being an adult does not include the word ‘easy.’” Michael Caine’s character told this to his son, Nicholas Cage’s character, as he was wrestling with a possible job relocation while trying to work things out with his ex-wife and children. But Cage’s character was what you would consider a loser in life and seemed undisciplined to improve his attitude. He wanted things to happen, but he was unmotivated to make the effort and really see change happen in his life. His father told him that life gets easier for us and everyone else when we do the right thing, which may often mean choosing hard decisions.

So what did I get out of that and how do I relate it to the earlier part of this post? This may be a stretch, so bear with me, but through our visitors, I’ve been more conscious about my own attitude and my comfort level with different people. As much as I’ve spent time with my in-laws, there still isn’t that comfort level with them as there is with my own family or my close friends like Dorc. Don’t get me wrong. I love them all, and they’ve made me feel like a part of the family since day one. They are extremely loving and caring. But my interactions with them (especially in a group) feel a little more restrained like I’m reining my natural goofy self. I guess it’s only natural, and it’s part of the process of joining someone else’s family. Four years down the line, I know I have relaxed more around them, but I still feel like I’m holding back sometimes because I don’t know how they will react—or if they will disapprove. My family, close friends, and Matt know the extent of my true self and just how quirky (or is it immature?) I can be (sometimes to the point of annoyance as Matt will probably say), but it’s who I am.

So now that I’ve realized this, do I just keep on behaving as usual (a little more formal and restrained) with not only my in-laws, but with my co-workers or other people that I am still getting to know, or do I acknowledge that this is part of being an adult (and being married) and try to bridge that gap between who others think I am because I’ve acted a certain way around them with who I really am (and hope they accept me nonetheless)? The easy way out is to just continue acting mellow and more restrained because I only see them a few times a year or because I only sit at my cube 8 hours a day, most of the time not even interacting with anyone. But the hard way, and probably the better decision, is to make a conscious effort to let my natural personality seep in little by little until I can feel completely myself around everyone that I meet, regardless of how they act or how they may react to me.

It may take awhile, and it won’t be easy. But like the movie said, being an adult does not include the word ‘easy.’

*Pics with the Ips’ and Dorc’s visits to come, probably after this weekend’s camping trip…or after Melanie’s visit…or after Na’s visit…*

P.S. Congrats to my sister for finishing her first triathlon!!